BBB – Brasil Bom de Bozo

By Urariano Mota

A play in one act and scenes

Characters:

General Bozo

Horse

Donkey

People dressed in animal costumes

Office with images of the White House. Flags of the United States and Brazil

General Bozo wearing stars, a cap, and a green-and-yellow sash that reads “Homeland of the Unlimited Militia”

General Bozo

- Today is World Cerebral Palsy Day.

Horse

- What’s that got to do with us?

General Bozo

- Long live Mental Health Day!

Donkey

- Are you calling us donkeys?

General Bozo

- What kind of prejudice is that? Everyone is a donkey. Every donkey is a man.

Horse

- I’m not a donkey!

General Bozo

- We’re all the donkeys in Brazil.

Donkey

- Me, huh? I’d rather bray in peace.

General Bozo

- Bray... What kind of word is that, donkey?

Donkey

- General... cut it out, okay? Bray is my thing.

Horse

- I prefer to neigh. Iiirrirri!

General Bozo

- To each his own way of neighing.

The doors to the great hall swing open. People dressed as animals enter. Oxen, horses, and donkeys come in and shout, amid braying, neighing, and mooing:

- Long live Bozo! Bangue! Bangue! Moooo...

General Bozo

- Long live me!

Donkey

- Long live me!

Horse

- Long live me!

Voices from the crowd of people in costumes:

- Who are you guys?

Donkey

- I'm Bozo.

Voices

- You?!

Donkey

- Yes, I speak for him.

Horse

- I speak for him, too!

Voices

- We want Bozo to speak for Bozo!

And they turn to General Bozo

- Who are you?

General Bozo

- I’m Trumpe Trampe!

Voices

- But you don’t have hair like baby poop, and you’re not fat like that gringo.

General Bozo

- Oh, don’t be PT supporters. Get it: I’m Trampe. I speak for him.

Voices

- And what does President Trampe Bozo say?

General Bozo

- I want Brazil for the Americans!

Donkey

- I want to be General Trampe.

General Bozo

- Didn’t Lula say that Brazil wasn’t the United States’ backyard?

Voices

- Yes!

General Bozo

- So we’re the opposite of Lula!

Horse

- Lula said that Brazil is sovereign.

General Bozo

- So Brazil is a slave!

Voices

- How clever!

Donkey

- Lula said that workers should have two days off.

General Bozo

- Workers have to work 20 hours a day, every day!

Voices

- How clever!

Horse

- Lula said that a child isn’t a mother.

General Bozo

- If she’s had sex, she’s a mother!

Voices

- Is a mother a pussy?

General Bozo

- A mother is a pussy! That’s what she’s for!

Voices

- How clever!

Donkey

- Lula said he wants free buses for the people!

General Bozo

- We need more expensive buses. How else are businesspeople going to make a living?

Horse

- What if the worker can't afford it?

General Bozo

- He'll walk. Age and distance don't matter. Suffering dignifies a man.

Donkey

- What if he can't take it and falls?

General Bozo

- He'll lose his job!

Voices

- How clever!

Horse

- Lula put an end to the bets.

General Bozo

- We’re going to bring them back. With me, it’s all Bete!

Donkey

- And what about those who can’t stand going into debt anymore?

General Bozo

- Die! If you can’t make a living, move somewhere else!

Voices

- How clever!

(To be continued tomorrow)

Urariano Mota is a Brazilian writer and journalist, born in Recife on September 29, 1950. He is the author of novels about the horrors of the Brazilian dictatorship, such as “Soledad no Recife” and “Never-Ending Youth”