BBB - Big Brazil Bolsonaro

By Urariano Mota

(Continued from: BBB – Brasil Bom de Bozo)

Same setting as before. An office with images of the White House. Flags of the United States and Brazil.

General Bozo, wearing a star-spangled cap and a green-and-yellow sash that reads “Homeland of the Unlimited Militia.”

In addition to the characters General Bozo, Horse, Donkey, and people dressed in animal costumes, there are now a Reporter and a Photographer.

General Bozo stands up from behind the long table. He extends his right arm, with his palm facing down, in a salute.

Horse – General, is that a Nazi salute?

Voices – Donkey, Donkey, Donkey!

Horse – I’m a horse. That sounds like something a Nazi would say.

General Bozo – Yes! What’s the matter? Are you against Nazism?

Frightened Horse – No, General. Who am I to be against something so beautiful? But…

General Bozo – But what? Hitler was a great man. He fought against the inferior races.

Donkey – Was he against donkeys? That’s what matters.

Horse – Was he against horses?

General Bozo – Never. He was against Black people, against Jews, against gays.... Only the inferior ones.

Donkey – What a saintly man!

General Bozo – Yes. With him, there’d be no such thing as a Black Madonna, like Our Lady of Aparecida. Down with Black men and women!

Voices – How clever!

Reporter and Photographer enter.

Photographer – General, extend your handsome Nazi arm for a photo.

General Bozo – No. The communists will say I’m the Hitler of Brazil.

Reporter – And aren’t you?

General Bozo – I am, but that can’t be published. Do you understand?

Reporter – Don’t worry. Anything that makes you look bad, management won’t publish.

General Bozo – So how did it get out that I stole, that I killed someone, that I’m corrupt?

Reporter – Never on our newspaper and television network! We’re on your side.

General Bozo – All right! I’ll reward you. So I’ll say it right here: I’m a Nazi. I’m against gays and women. I’ve been stealing, and I ordered Marielle Franco’s murder.

Voices – How clever!

Reporter – So you’re not a feminist?

General Bozo – Female what?!

Reporter – Fe-mi-nist. Someone who supports women’s rights.

General Bozo – Never! Every woman has to be put in her place as an inferior being. They’re all housewives and dumb.

Donkey – Whoa, General.

General Bozo – I said “dumb”—the donkey’s wife. Are you a woman?

Donkey – I’m a male!

Voices – How clever!

General Bozo – When I’m elected, I’m going to change that disgrace of a Brazilian flag.

Horse – General, you’d have to amend the Constitution to do that, wouldn’t you?

General Bozo – You don’t know anything, horse. You sound just like those grass-munchers in the opposition.

Donkey – Good thing I’m a right-wing donkey.

General Bozo – I’m going to change the Constitution. It’ll be the American flag, all stars. Brazil will become another state in the American Federation. How wonderful, isn’t it? We’ll belong to the great homeland of the United States!

Voices – How clever!

General Bozo – And I’m going to put an end to this farce of a Supreme Federal Court. In fact, I’m going to change everything in the justice system. Change the laws—enact only laws that favor Brazilian Nazism.

Voices – How clever!

General Bozo – I’m going to put an end to schools that only indoctrinate students in communism.

Donkey – Good thing I don’t go to school.

General Bozo – Great! I’m going to do away with literature, the arts, and all culture! It’s all communist nonsense. I’m going to burn the books!

Voices – How clever!

General Bozo – Country, white family, and militiamen. Was I clear? (Bangs on the table)

Horse, donkey, all the frightened animals: - Crystal clear!

(To be continued tomorrow)

Urariano Mota is a Brazilian writer and journalist, born in Recife on September 29, 1950. He is the author of novels about the horrors of the Brazilian dictatorship, such as “Soledad no Recife” and “Never-Ending Youth”